Why Did Inessa Enroll in Andrea's Writing Class?

By Inessa Freylekhman, a Writing Class Radio student

About 12 years ago, I saw Andrea Askowitz perform stories from her book, My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy on a stage in Hollywood, CA. I couldn’t stop laughing. How could anyone be so blunt publicly!?  I thought: I want to do that!

Years later, I got engaged and moved from Seattle to Miami.

I attended my first Lip Service event (where eight storytellers tell their true stories in front of an audience) and saw Andrea on stage again: all hair and charm and awkwardness. She asked the audience to submit stories for the next Lip Service, and I did.  My story was rejected, but with an encouraging note.  Andrea said she didn’t really know what I was trying to say, but that I should definitely submit again. I’d never thought about what I was trying to say. So, I enrolled in her memoir writing class. In class, I collaborate with like-minded individuals, process my emotions, and make sense of my life through writing and sharing stories. This class has helped me become a better observer and take things far less seriously. That makes life more bearable and funny.

When my relationship hit a roadblock, I wrote about it in class. Then I submitted my story to Lip Service and it got accepted! 

I performed on stage to a room of 600 people. I was terrified to talk about the most private part of my life in public, but afterward, I felt connected to the audience. I felt understood. 

Click here to buy  My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy

Click here for more information about Lip Service

We found Missy

            About two months ago, even before we launched, two friends told me there was a woman named Missy out here in South Florida searching for a writing community. My friends had independently listened to Elizabeth Gilbert’s podcast, Magic Lessons. It took me a few weeks to listen myself, but when I did, I did a little dance.

            Elizabeth Gilbert spoke to Missy, who I loved immediately. She is smart and open and adorable. They spoke about Missy’s boring job and her desire to write. Missy works as a phone saleswoman. She works from a script and is not even allowed to improvise. She feels like a trapped artist. Don’t we all?

            At the end of the show, Elizabeth gave Missy two assignments: to start writing and to find her tribe.

            I knew we could be Missy’s tribe. But how would we find her?

            We tweeted, “Looking for #Missy from podcast #MagicLessons @GilbertLiz. We are your community.”

            Nothing.

            We contacted Elizabeth Gilbert’s agent. We posted a few times on Elizabeth Gilbert’s Facebook page. We tweeted again, “The thing that you are seeking is also seeking you.” Seeking #Missy from #MagicLessons @GilbertLiz.

            Still nothing.

            Then a woman named Missy sent me a direct message on my personal twitter account that said she was crazy about Writing Class Radio and that it inspired her to write all weekend. I wrote back that she was my favorite person.

            A week later a woman named Missy commented on our blog. And liked a bunch of things on our FB page.

            Could it be THE Missy?

            Yes!  But we didn’t figure it out until Missy wrote me an email.  Here’s what she said:

            My name is Missy and I think we've been looking for each other?? I first heard about the Writing Class Radio a couple of weeks ago when Elizabeth Gilbert retweeted something from the page. Then Friday I found your personal Twitter page and DM'd you and you said I was your favorite person so I mean really I don't even know what happened this weekend because I'm your favorite person lol And today I got a couple of emails from Elizabeth Gilbert's team letting me know that you &/or your team know about me and want to find me? I mean whaaaaaaat? Is this really my life?  

            As you may recall, Lizzy Gilbert (you know because we spoke twice for 20 minutes so she's obviously my best friend forever) gave me homework to find my tribe and start my story. And as a diehard absolute lover of all things school & homework related, I set out on a fiery quest to get it done. I've been writing but I haven't found 'my tribe' yet.

Well, here we are!

How a porno novella started Bo's writing career

A couple of years ago a good friend of mine was taking Andrea’s writing class and suggested I join. I asked, “Writing?  What could I possibly write about?”

“You’re always telling stories," he said. “Why not write them down?” 

I thought the extent of my writing had been college research papers and e-mails for work until I remembered Faye’s Fantasies, the porno novella I wrote in junior high.  

I was a scared, very closeted gay kid growing up in the Bible belt. Faye’s Fantasies featured my social studies teacher, Faye, and her gym teacher husband, Jerry. 

At the public library I had recently come across the classic sex manual from the late 60’s, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex* But Were Afraid to Ask.  I appropriated the more bizarre sexual behaviors for Faye and Jerry, who, in my book, engaged in those behaviors with the janitors and the cafeteria workers.

People laughed their asses off when they read it—it even brought me some new-found respect from a couple of school bullies.  But I soon realized that my book could fall into the wrong hands, and that I could get into BIG, BIG trouble, so one day I took it to the woods and burned it.  Not a trace was left, except its memory, which is brought up at my high school reunions.  

Faye’s Fantasies helped me express and cope with anger and frustration in a way that put me in the driver’s seat.  So I signed up for Andrea’s class, which turned into "Writing Class Radio."  

I know I’m no William Faulkner or Ernest Hemingway, but I realize that I don’t have to be.  I just have to tell my stories.  Writing gives me a chance to step out of the everyday grind and tune into my own mind—my memories, my subconscious—and that’s valuable and therapeutic to me, and that's why I continue to do it.  It is also a lot of fun!

How did you get started?

 

why do you write?

so, i’ve been bugging andrea, “come on….write a little blog. readers and listeners want to know you.” she’s been at the sanibel writers conference since wednesday, teaching and learning with steve almond and leslie jamison. i called to check in, “hey, if you have time, pump out a little blog.”

she said, “i’m too busy to write a blog. you do it.”

i emailed bo, a student in class, and asked him to write the blog.  he hasn’t responded. i’m sure he doesn’t check his email on thursday or friday or saturday. maybe he’s writing a masterpiece and i’ll receive it after this blog posts…..

i texted jake, a student in season 2, and asked him why he’s in this writing class. he said, “I need an escape from my own life.” he works in real estate, a job he doesn’t love.  “This class reminds me that not too long ago, I was a teacher, a tour guide, a friend, a human being.” jake said that he was overworked and tired and not motivated to write. he responded to my text because, “The founder chick keeps hounding me.”

maybe we all need the founder chick or someone hounding us. for three hours once a week in class, i am forced to write. for homework, andrea asks us, her students, to write for 15 minutes a day. i’ve started drinking a second cup of coffee after the kids leave for school. i check the daily prompt on our website and start writing.

the last line of jake’s text said, “I am in this class to escape, grow, learn and be around people that seem to be open. I like that.”

so, this founder chick wants to know…….why do you write? 

everyone needs an editor

after witnessing my best friend, galia, find love on match.com, i decided to give it a "re" try. i emailed my friend, augusto, to edit my match.com profile and within minutes, he came back with magic. when i told andrea, she said, "post that on our blog immediately! people need to see what editing can do. everyone needs an editor!" 

augusto:

First, this is awesome. Second, any comments I make feel free to ignore (I “edited” Galia’s Match profile and while she took some of my suggestions she also dismissed others--How fucking dare she edit my edits?!?-- so you post whatever feels right to you). And finally, my read of your profile is heavily influenced by the fact that I know you, know where you’re coming from, and know what you mean (i.e., I have a personal bias that works in your favor). So the comments below are after attempting to read the profile through the eyes of a guy who doesn’t know you at all, and is seeing this cold for the first time on Match. So with that in mind, see my comments below (I am only going to point out the things I think need tweaking, you can assume everything else is hilarious/cool/perfect because it is):

 

allison:

it's 9:15 in the morning and i am editing my match profile, waiting for instacart to arrive with my groceries, so i can leave for the gym. I had planned to work from home...but here i am $#%@ing around with my match profile. my kids get home from school at 3:15, so i have 6 hours to create the perfect persona.....which is no small feat.

i have been told i come across as one person but am completely different than i appear. wtf does that mean? (I use profanity, far more often than I would like, it’s a crutch and I hate it, but waddaya gonna do, so fuck it…that said, I think even innocuous “profane” acronyms such as WTF should be avoided in a profile, lest the reader misjudge you as anything less than Donald Trump-level “classy”…that said, given the ubiquitous use of “WTF” these days, maybe I’m just being a prig…feel free to ignore this suggestion…yeah, definitely ignore it). maybe i walk into a date with a huge wall up....instead of the happy, joking person i am. maybe i want to appear like i have it all together (who does, really?). like everyone else, i sometimes lose my temper with my fantastic/adorable/button-pushing kids more often than i would like (and just about as often as my friends will admit to and as my mom used to back in the day when me and my own hellion brother/sister were raising holy Hell around our house). sorry mom, i understand now!

i am a single mom....had the kids on my own, so i knew exactly what i wanted and I went for it. But I admit that every once in a while i do miss my “me” time, time to play and work and be spontaneous. Of course, when the kids are all being sweet and calm and we're all cuddled up on the couch watching jeopardy, i think, "ok, this is awesome." (choose your own adjective but jack it up a few notches beyond mere “good”)

i have been on match a few times before with not much success. i like the familiar, so meeting new people feels uncomfortable. i like to chat a little, get to know you before we meet. looks are important (i love rugged and natural), and i am a huge believer in chemistry, but i need to know that your soul is beautiful, and strong, and nourished as well. (this is a great line). sounds goofy, maybe, but i am looking for someone who compliments my life, whose life i compliment. i want to love and inspire you. i want to laugh with you and have fun...fun on the couch, cooking, bike riding, getting naked! I really want to devour (are you missing a noun here? devour what? coming after “getting naked” as it does, the male mind goes to one specific place) and love being together as a family and alone!

Other than when I’m with my children, (true or not, you’ve GOTTA preface it this way, trust me) my favorite moment in the day is when i put in my earbuds, click on a podcast and take a long walk or workout in the gym. instacart just arrived....off to enjoy my day!

the final draft:

it's 9:15 in the morning and i am editing my match profile, waiting for instacart to arrive with my groceries, so i can leave for the gym. I had planned to work from home...but here i am $#%@ing around with my match profile. my kids get home from school at 3:15, so i have 6 hours to create the perfect persona.....which is no small feat. 

i have been told i come across as one person but am completely different than i appear. what does that mean? maybe i walk into a date with a huge wall up....instead of the happy, joking person i am. maybe i want to appear like i have it all together (who does, really?). like everyone else, i sometimes lose my temper with my really sweet-but-sometimes-extremely-demanding kids more often than i would like (and just about as often as my friends will admit to and as my mom used to back in the day when me and my own hellion brother were raising holy HELL around our house). sorry mom, i understand now!

i am a single mom....had the kids on my own, so i knew exactly what i wanted and i went for it. but i admit that every once in a while i do miss my "me" time to play and work and be spontaneous. of course, when the kids are being sweet and calm and we're all cuddled up on the couch watching jeopardy, i think, "ok, this is pretty awesome."

i have been on match a few times before with not much success. i like the familiar, so meeting new people feels uncomfortable. i like to chat a little, get to know you before we meet. looks are important (i love rugged and natural), and i am a huge believer in chemistry, but i need to know that your soul is beautiful, and strong, and nourished as well. sounds goofy, maybe, but i am looking for someone who compliments my life, whose life i compliment. I want to love and inspire you. i want to laugh with you and have fun...fun on the couch, cooking, bike riding, getting naked! I really want to love being together as a family and alone with you!

other than when i'm with my children, my favorite moment in the day is when i put in my earbuds, click on a podcast and take a long walk or workout in the gym. instacart just arrived....off to enjoy my day! 

 

the big launch: live at last on itunes and stitcher

so, now that we’re live, i’ve sent emails to all my friends, clients and acquaintances  asking them to listen to our podcast. with each click, I asked myself, “will they feel sorry for me? will people care? will they want to listen to more?” i’ve said things about my mom that were not meant for her ears. they were meant for my class…for me, really, so i could understand how two people who love each other so much can infuriate each other so easily. i’ve made comments about motherhood. how draining and unfulfilling it can be. how most days i just want to run off and play tennis, windsurf, read, work! will people think i’m a shitty mom?

…so my mom is going to hear me say things like camel toe, braless, angry and they all refer to her. will she stop speaking to me? will the people we write about abandon us? i guess i’ll find out.

andrea, my co-producer and writing teacher, says that the job of a writer is to write without concern for what other people think. “write first and apologize later.”

so far, i have gotten some really positive feedback. my friend wendi said, “write a book. i think you are powerful and unique and many people could benefit from learning about you and your journey.” my friend michael said, “i’ve always admired you – smart, strong, fearless.” maybe my friends who wonder why i air my grief to the world are not commenting. to those people, I would say, (and I stole this from brene brown) “because the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live.”

everyone has a story. what's yours?

production is a huge production

hey, it's allison, (i'm not a cap-user, so i hope that doesn't bug you....especially since this is a writing class and one would expect a producer and student to abide by the usual rules of writing) but i feel like it slows me down and my creativity gets blocked. this will bug andrea when she reads the blog, and she will try to convince me to change my ways, at least here, and we will discuss it over indian food and she will win. she always does. she is very convincing...and usually correct. If you are reading all this blah blah about caps, then i may have won this time!

it's been 6 months since andrea and I decided to create a podcast of our writing class. the pilot episode describes why i decided to enroll in andrea's very first writing class at miami-dade college, so i won't bore you with that. we used to play tennis, more before the podcast began occupying our free time, and she always won there too. she played at penn....maybe she deserves to win. but i love the challenge and we loved discussing our favorite things about class that week. we'd attempt to solve everyone's problems...including our own. the themes were universal, love, dating, death, work, and the students were so colorful. we wanted to share them with the world. 

so, 4 episodes in, we now realize that to produce a great podcast, it takes more than great content...it takes patience, more time in the day, a great team (which we have), a LOT of research, and listeners who love our show.

we want to hear from you, so listen to our pilot, which is up on our website, and tell us what you like/don't like/want to hear more of. the big launch on itunes is october 24th. itunes will publish all 4 episodes (if all goes well) with 8 expected in season 1.

we believe that everyone has a story. what's yours?