Show Notes for Episode 39: Get Out of Your Way and Write

On today’s episode we’re talking about getting out of our own way when writing a story. The writing process starts with getting the truth on paper. We write about situations or problems we’re dealing with or have dealt with, things we’re still trying to understand or resolve. The goal is getting to the reason we’re writing the story and what the story is really about.

Andrea is a huge believer in writing and rewriting. That’s her process. A first draft is usually shit. Then the second draft all the way to the 222 draft, is usually still shit, but those drafts are critical for telling the story well. But with all this writing and rewriting, we can get in our own way.

In this episode, you'll hear student Misha Mehrel’s story Bad Breath. Misha brought this piece to class a couple of weeks ago and it needed very little editing. You will also hear an interview with Misha about his writing process. Misha was wary of writing about his father’s cancer diagnosis. What he did instead was start by writing about physical problems that had been bothering him. He wrote graphically and intimately about his breath and bowel movements, which served to free him up to write about his dad.

Two prompt ideas to help you, the listener, loosen up. Body Odor or Menstrual Blood. See where that takes you.

Listen to other stories by Misha in Episode 36 about Hurricane Irma (https://soundcloud.com/writing-class-radio/episode-36-hurricanes-and-stories-define-us-since-the-beginning-of-time) and another in Episode 16: Comfort Zone where he told a story about his hairy ass.

(https://soundcloud.com/writing-class-radio/episode-16-step-out-of-your-comfort-zone-where-the-magic-happens).

 Writing Class Radio is a podcast that brings you true, personal stories written in an actual memoir writing class and a little instruction on how to write your own stories.

Writing Class Radio is co-hosted by student Allison Langer (www.allisonlanger.com)  and teacher Andrea Askowitz (www.andreaaskowitz.com). This podcast is equal parts heart and art. By heart, we mean getting to the truth and by art, we mean the craft of writing.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Virginia Lora, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer. We are sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication.

Our fall writing contest is officially on! The prompt is Secret Pleasure. Deadline is Feb. 14, 2017. Details at writingclassradio.com.

Theme music by Ari Herstand. Additional music by Kevin Myles WIlson

Taryn Southern and Podington Bear. You can find all our music on our website.

Please support our 20+2 campaign. Give $20 and get two people to subscribe. Our goal is 2,000 new listeners and $20,000 by the end of the year. Please help us reach our goal. Please go to writingclassradio.com and hit the 20+2 button.

There’s more writing class on our website (www.writingclassradio.com), twitter (@wrtgclassradio) and Facebook.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Show Notes for Episode 38: Write Better by Mimicking the Masters

On Episode 38 we’re talking about mimicking the masters the way you’d imagine a painting class in Paris goes to the Louvre and practices painting like Leonardo de Vinci. We think it’s worth copying a method that works because we know it worked in the past. Learn the rules before breaking the rules.

In this episode, you'll hear stories that mimic the style of Boys, a story by Rick Moody. Andrea took a class at the Miami Writers Institute with Brian Turner, author of the memoir, My Life as a Foreign Country. In an excerpt of the book, Turner mimicked Rick Moody. Our students mimicked Turner mimicking Moody.

Nilsa Rivera, Leah Messing and Andrea Askowitz nailed it. This style enabled them to take the listener into their worlds. The stories were written in the third person, but were still extremely intimate and specific.

Writing Class Radio is a podcast that brings you true, personal stories written in an actual memoir writing class and a little instruction on how to write your own stories.

Writing Class Radio is co-hosted by student Allison Langer (www.allisonlanger.com)  and teacher Andrea Askowitz (www.andreaaskowitz.com). This podcast is equal parts heart and art. By heart, we mean getting to the truth and by art, we mean the craft of writing.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Virginia Lora, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer. We are sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication. This episode is sponsored by Melanie Merriman, (melaniemerriman.com) Andrea’s past student and author of the important memoir, Holding the Net, Caring for My Mother on the Tightrope of Aging.

Our fall writing contest is officially on! The prompt is Secret Pleasure. Deadline is Feb. 14, 2017. Details at writingclassradio.com.

Theme music by Ari Herstand. Additional music by Emia and Podington Bear. You can find all our music on our website.

Please support our 20+2 campaign. Give $20 and get two people to subscribe. Our goal is 2,000 new listeners and $20,000 by the end of the year. Please help us reach our goal. Please go to writingclassradio.com and hit the 20+2 button.

There’s more writing class on our website (www.writingclassradio.com), twitter (@wrtgclassradio) and Facebook.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Meet Prisoner and 1st class human being, Mike Gonzalez→

Mike Gonzalez is an inmate at the Dade Correctional Institution. He is also one of the best writers in the Exchange for Change program, a group of mostly volunteers who believe that education is the key to success...especially in prison.  

I spend two hours every Tuesday with 17 incarcerated men. I have gotten to know Mike well. He is a kind, intelligent man who made a mistake when he was 18 years old. Mike is paying for that mistake... for life. Read Mike's story below or listen to Episode 37 on our website, Soundcloud or Apple Podcasts. 

What do your clothes say about you?

By Mike Gonzalez

           As a homeless 12 year old, my clothes never betrayed that fact.  My little brother and I would go through great lengths to not look like homeless kids who on any given night, slept on the sands of Miami Beach, on roof tops, in the stairwells of buildings, or in trees we could climb.

            Occasionally we’d break into empty hotel rooms and sleep in them. A soft bed, however, wasn’t the main reason for risking arrest for breaking and entering. Our main objective was to shower and hand-wash the clothes we carried around with us in our backpacks. Clothes we’d steal from anywhere. From high-end stores on South Beach and Aventura Mall. From mom-and-pop stores in Little Havana. We even stole clothes from those small self-serve laundromats available to guests at mid-priced hotels. And if you decided to leave your Nike Air Force Ones unattended as you swam deeper into the ocean or fell asleep sunbathing – those Air Force Ones became mine.

            Clean and fresh-looking clothes couldn’t fill our perpetually growling bellies. They couldn’t provide a steady, warm place to sleep. But because our clothes didn’t advertise our homelessness, we weren’t immediately turned away when we would walk in, unaccompanied, to various hotel lobbies, running from the relentless summer heat. It seemed to us that our clothes helped the employees assume that we were guests. Our clothes never betrayed our hopelessness, so we weren’t shooed away, like flies hovering over a juicy steak, by the parents of rich kids on vacation whom we’d befriend on the beach. Our clothes told these folks that my little brother and me were worthy of being invited to lunch at Wolfie’s or dinner at Kenny Roger’s. Because our clothes didn’t carry the stench of our wildness, the public bus drivers almost always believed our story of why we didn’t have our fare and let us on the bus. Or maybe we were just fooling ourselves. Maybe these people really just felt sympathy for two kids who were always alone, but played along in order to avoid embarrassing us.

            Our clothes helped protect my little brother and me from the prejudice that homeless people experience the world over. Today, the prison Blues that I am forced to wear are far from a shield against prejudice, but instead come with 100 years worth of negative stereotypes woven into the fabric and which I fight against daily. To the majority of society, my clothes say that I’m dangerous, that I’m uneducated; even subhuman. I want you to know that these clothes are lying. As a homeless kid, my clothes said what I needed them to say for my survival; now getting people to not believe what these prison clothes say is equally important to my survival as a man. I am in prison but prison is not me. I am not the sum total of my worst mistake. These three natural death sentences don’t fit me and no amount of tailoring can ever make this feel comfortable. I will continue pulling at the hem, continue unraveling the fabric with my pen, for I have outgrown these Blue grave-clothes. And I am ready to walk out of this tomb.

 

Thank you to Matt Cundill of Matt Cundill Voiceovers for reading Mike's story.

To find out more about Exchange for Change, visit their website.  Exchange for Change believes in the power of written partnerships to promote dialogue and impact social change. We facilitate anonymous writing exchanges between classrooms in correctional and court-mandated facilities, and classrooms in high schools and universities.

Episode 37: Ready to Write that Memoir or Novel? Nov. is National Novel Writing Month

Episode 37: Ready to Write that Memoir or Novel? Nov. is National Novel Writing Month.

November is #NaNoWriMo and we have executive director, Grant Faulkner, on our show. Today we’re talking about novels because we go both ways. And also because storytelling principles are the same when writing fiction or nonfiction. Get inspired and join millions of people around the world who are racing to finish a book this month. Allison’s in the race.

Writing Class Radio is a podcast that brings you true, personal stories written in an actual memoir writing class and a little instruction on how to write your own stories.

Writing Class Radio is co-hosted by student Allison Langer and teacher Andrea Askowitz. This podcast is equal parts heart and art. By heart, we mean getting to the truth and by art, we mean the craft of writing.

Grant is the Executive Director of National Novel Writing Month and the author of “Pep Talks For Writers. 52 Insights and Actions to Boost Your Creative Mojo.” Among other things, Faulkner talks about the importance of what you wear when you write, making time to write, and knowing thyself. You’ll hear from students Aaron Curtis and Liz Marquardt and producer, Virginia Lora. They responded to one of Grant’s writing tips, You are what you wear. You will also hear from Mike Gonzalez, a student in the class Allison teaches at the Dade Correctional Institution as a facilitator for Exchange for Change.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Virginia Lora, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer. We are sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication. This episode is sponsored by the Gold Valley Consulting. Hire Cristina Baldor to do all the administrative stuff that bogs you down.

Our fall writing contest is officially on! The prompt is Secret Pleasure. Details on our website. You can make writing a daily practice. We have a growing community of  listeners who respond to our daily prompts and give feedback to each other. Join the party. Click on Daily Prompts on our website.

Theme music by Ari Herstand. Additional music by Emia, Bluejay, Jason Sager, and Podington Bear. You can find all our music on our website.

Thanks to Matt Cundill from Matt Cundill Voiceovers for reading Mike’s story. If you need a voice (male or female) for your radio project or podcast contact Matt. Besides for his beautiful voice, Matt also has a beautiful face and heart.

On this episode of Writing Class Radio we ask you to support our 20+2 campaign. Give $20 and get two people to subscribe. Our goal is 2,000 new listeners and $20,000 by the end of the year. Please help us reach our goal. Please go to writingclassradio.com and hit the 20+2 button.

There’s more writing class on our website (www.writingclassradio.com), twitter (@wrtgclassradio) and Facebook.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other than by writing and sharing our stories.

So I exaggerate a little – am I wrong to jazz up my stories? By Andrea Askowitz

This story by our teacher was just published in Aeon.co

Before 8 November 2016, I thought it was okay to stretch the truth in storytelling, especially if you were trying to be funny. Now, I’m not sure.

TrueStory was my Match.com handle. I don’t remember Victoria’s handle; what I remember is her picture. She’s wearing drag-queen quantities of makeup: gold swathes across her eyelids, blush from cheekbone to temple, and fuck-me red lipstick. She’s leaning forward, her white, fitted shirt is unbuttoned way down, and she’s squeezing her boobs together with her arms to exaggerate her cleavage. She looks like a hoochie mama.

When I tell people about the pictures, and I love to tell people, Victoria says the pictures aren’t like that. She says I’m exaggerating. But that’s the way I saw them.

click here to read more in Aeon.co..

 

For more on this theme, listen to Episode 27: When Is It Okay to Bullshit?

Andrea Askowitz is an author, storyteller and performer. She is the creator of Lip Service, a literary event in Miami, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, Salon and on NPR, among others. She is co-producer of the podcast, Writing Class Radio, and is the author of My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy (2008). She lives in Miami, Florida.

How Did It End?

By Viccy Simon

Viccy Simon is a student in Writing Class Radio. She wrote this story in response to a prompt in class. 

It ended in the ICU.

It ended after I’d told my mom all the ways she’d left the world in better shape than she found it.

It ended after I’d thanked her for Halloween costumes, and birthday cakes, and for peeling the hard-boiled eggs she packed in my lunchbox.

It ended after I’d filled up my sister’s voicemail with messages begging her to come soon.

It ended after I’d thanked my mom for teaching me to drive a stick.

It ended after I’d sung all the songs Mom used to sing to me when I was little.

It ended when I was hoarse with the talking and singing.

It ended when I’d texted my sister for the umpteenth time.

It ended when I was sure my mom was sick of my voice because I was sick of my voice. It ended after I pleaded with the doctor to keep her breathing just until morning in case my sister had managed to catch that overnight flight from Arizona.

It ended after the doctor told me that he could give her more morphine but she would die sooner and I opted for later and then regretted it when the doctor had left the floor and my mom started thrashing.

It ended after my sister called from the airport and said, “I told you I’d get here and I did.” 

It ended after my sister rushed in and held my mother’s hand.

It ended before my sister said one word.

For more stories like this one and a lesson or two or three on writing, listen to Writing Class Radio, a podcast that brings you stories from our real writing class and will inspire you to get started on writing your own stories. Check our resource page for writing teachers we love,  contests, places to submit and more.

Bye-Bye Facebook, Goodbye

By Ariel C.

Ariel is a student in our Saturday writing workshop series at the Lowe Art Museum. He wrote this story in response to the prompt, Something You Don't Understand.

I really don’t understand how people can be posting crap on social media all day. Seriously, my Facebook feed has become littered with selfies, stupid videos of people doing dumb things, political rhetoric, trips to “exotic places”, food porn and now there is a friend of mine who thinks he is a fucking theater critic and writes these long and boring recounts of the shows he goes to see. The last one was about Hamilton. I haven’t seen it, but after reading just a little bit of his review, I’m definitely NOT interested.

I have to log into Facebook and social media for work, after all, how can you be an “influencer” if you don’t “influence” anybody. I just try to keep it simple and post only about the cool things that are happening in the tech world. I must do this so the people working in the worst profession in the world, Public Relations that is, keep us in their sights when there are client projects coming.

Sometimes when I’m posting the coolest stuff like why artificial intelligence is going to replace all our jobs with giant robots…, fucking crickets… not many people seem to care but, there are always the ardent supporters who will hit like and retweet whatever you post, even if you are sharing a picture of a gigantic horse turd. One of these days I’m going to send everyone to fuck themselves and close all my social media accounts without even a sweet tweet goodbye. I doubt they’ll miss me, after all, there is so much crap on social media already.

For more stories like this one and a lesson or two or three on writing, listen to Writing Class Radio, a podcast that brings you stories from our real writing class and will inspire you to get started on writing your own stories. Check our resource page for writing teachers we love,  contests, places to submit and more.

CLASS SCOOP

Lis Mesa, Writing Class Radio podcast student, on the write path...

Through my early 20s, I was terrified to "give in" and write. I knew the life of an artist was challenging--for many reasons--so I did sensible things like get a Master's in Management and work 60 hours a week in an upper management position in the healthcare industry. At 28, I had become so physically and mentally burned out that I had to set on hold the life I worked so hard to build.

I couldn't continue to repress my desire to write. The words burned my insides and seeped from my pores. On the morning of my 29th birthday--exactly one year ago--I signed up for a writing workshop. Since then, I've taken classes and workshops and worked with other writers. The results have been an evolving body of work that I'm extremely proud off. 

I just turned 30, and this is where I need to be. This place as a writer. Just writing. It took me so long to give myself permission to write. And now I got accepted to The University of Edinburgh to study creative writing. I'm hoping this program will offer space to write, communion with other writers and the time to improve my craft.

This summer, Lis was invited to study with Emily Witt at the 2017 Tin House Summer Workshop.

In the Fall, Lis is going to The University of Edinburgh's one-year, full-time program, which offers students the opportunity to focus in depth on their own practice of poetry or fiction and develop both creative and critical skills through a combination of weekly workshops and seminars.

P.S....

Andrea Askowitz of gets published in The Manifest-Station....

Click here to read andrea's full essay, Born To Run. 

Allison Langer is teaching writing this summer in one of Florida's prisons with Exchange for Change.

Shared Bathroom

By Kristin Connor

Kristin Connor is a new student in Writing Class Radio. She wrote this story in response to a prompt in class.

My parents still live in the house that my sister, two brothers and I grew up in. I get to go there on a weekly basis and, while my Mom has changed around many of the rooms, it’s home.

Only my older brother and I can remember the time when there were six of us sharing one and a half bathrooms. We would call out “first shower” on the way home, all of us riding from our various destinations in my mom’s navy station wagon with wood paneling. We would then race each other out of the car, into the house, and up the stairs. I was usually pretty quick and would climb into the shower, pull the curtain closed and yell “I took my clothes off!” knowing that my brother would be too horrified to dare check if it was true.

That bathroom looks totally different now, and my parents did a significant addition to the house when adding one more bathroom and enough bedrooms for each of us to call our own. But when I walk into the “new” bathroom, it still feels like the “old” bathroom. The sage green subway tiles, with a black border, and black and white checkered floor tiles always felt so cold after a hot shower. It was the place where we learned to use the bathroom and brush our teeth, but also to negotiate and to compromise with each other.

My siblings and I are all very close today, and I believe that that bathroom is a huge part of it. These days, people’s homes have huge closets with sprawling bathrooms, many not shared with another person in the house. Had we not lived in a place where we had no choice but to face each other, scratch each other’s chicken pox, wait for the head lice shampoo to take effect, and then smile in the mirror while we brushed our teeth, I don’t know that we would be so close. I am grateful for that shared bathroom, as many fights as it caused, it also brought us together. 

I Went to Prison

By Allison Langer

Yesterday, I drove to the Dade Correctional Institution with my friend, Sonesh. He sits on the board of Exchange for Change, a non-profit started by Kathie Klarreich. Kathie started teaching writing workshops in prison in 2009 and began the writing exchanges in 2013. Kathie invited me to the performance so I could meet some of the students I'd be teaching come summertime.  I met volunteers and supporters from UM, FIU, FAU, and Ransom Everglades. All had families and careers, and yet still made time for this program. I found out about Exchange for Change this past spring when Ransom English teacher, Josh Stone did a Tedx talk at Ransom Everglades. He inspired me to volunteer. 

I've never been to prison before, so I had no idea what to expect. I wore loose jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers, no jewelry and only mascara. My long, blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail. There are no phones or electronics allowed inside the prison. I was told to bring only my driver’s license and a few bucks.  We cleared security, which was like TSA on steroids: shoes off, belts off, walk-through the metal detector and a thorough pat down. Then, we were guided into a large room with a giant mural of Frozen on the brick wall, rows of chairs and men in light blue scrubs. Only they weren’t doctors, they were prisoners. David Jeffers, AKA Carolina Blue greeted me. He was a lean, well-groomed 6 ft tall light-skinned black man with a sweet smile and warm eyes. I was confused. He did not look like a thug. His energy was warm, not angry. Could he work here? I looked around. All the men were in the same blue uniform. Holy shit, these are the prisoners.

Carolina Blue handed me a brochure with stories written by the inmates. He pointed out his piece. "Let me know what you think," he said.  I didn't have my reading glasses, so I said I would read it when I got home.  I told him I would be teaching there in the summer and asked him to sign up for my class. I asked him how he'd gotten here and waited for his answer. It was hard to imagine this gentle man ever broke the law. Clearly avoiding my question, he told me that he'd transferred from another institution. Then I asked again, "What did you do to get incarcerated?" He smiled...said he would have to tell me another time. The next man I spoke with, Eduardo Martinez is 37 years old. He's been institutionalized for 17 years and has a life term. He told me that at 20 years old he made some really dumb decisions. He was in a scuffle and a gun went off and someone was killed. He left behind a pregnant girlfriend. His son visits, but not often. Eduardo was attractive, very fit, had such a kind presence. Yet his arms and hands were painted in tattoos...colorful art that blended together. His eyelids had a tiny design that I could not make out.  His words were smart and he was happy to tell me his story, so respectfully, he spoke of the wife he'd met and married in prison. "Will you take my class and write that story?" I asked, and he nodded with a smile. 

After socializing from 9:30-10:30am, one by one, the men got up and told their stories. How their young 20 year-old-selves made huge mistakes. How they have matured and learned from their time. How they wished they could get a second chance to contribute to society. Make it up to their mothers.

At 11:30 am, an alarm went off, the prisoners walked outside for lineup and each was accounted for. I thought of my own children, specifically my 7 year old son who is defiant and strong-willed and hyper and easily bored. When he was 3 years old, I took him to Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT). During our first session, the doctor told me that if I didn't get his temper under control he would end up like the kids she visited in Juvenile Detention. Is it just about self control? The PCIT didn't work for us. We have a different therapist now. My son requires love and patience and I require the time and the information to give him what he needs. He cannot end up here. 

By 11:45, the men were back in their seats and the program resumed. The inmates told stories that revealed their chaotic childhoods devoid of a father and infused with an often-addicted or unavailable mother. Not every one of the men came from this type of background, I suspect, but it seemed like 99% grew up in a tough neighborhood with a mom only half there. I live in Coral Gables, with good public schools, nice neighbors and a very low crime rate. I know what it takes to parent one difficult child and two other children. I have two jobs, bills, responsibilities and stress. But I am there when the kids come home from school. I can drive them to enrichment activities and sports. I can help with homework, talk about their day, cook their favorite dinner, make them feel special. I wonder what these men would have become if they'd had attention and love and a peaceful home? If their choices would have been better? It's not too late. And I believe that.

We left the prison at 2:30pm. I was drained and inspired and grateful to meet those men and to hear their stories. I have new heroes and they live at the Dade CI.

I never thought I'd say this, but I cannot wait to go back to prison!

Born To Run. By Andrea Askowitz

Bonnie Askowitz and Hillary Clinton

This story by our teacher was just published in Manifest-Station.

MY MOM has spent her entire adult life volunteering for the Democratic Party. She’s also an artist and was also very active in the women’s movement. She was the president of the local chapter of National Organization for Women and the head of the Miami Women’s History Coalition. 

 

She campaigned for equal pay for equal work and worked so hard for the Equal Rights Amendment that I can still recite the language: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex. The amendment died in 1982. I was 14.

My brother and I grew up under women’s lib, which meant there were no distinctions between chores. There was setting the table and taking out the garbage. There were no boy colors or girl colors. I had a purple bicycle, my brother had yellow. There wasn’t even a distinction in clothes. My mom tells me that at three years old, I only wanted to wear my brother’s clothes, so in every picture from that era there I am in beige corduroys and a brown T-shirt that said, “Keep on Truckin’.”

Click here to read the full essay in The Manifest-Station

ANDREA ASKOWITZ is the author of the memoir My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy and the editor of Badass True Stories. She is also the co-host, teacher and co-producer of the podcast Writing Class Radio. Her work has appeared in The New York Times, Salon.com, xoJane, Brain, Child, and other places.

Episode 29: Can You Hear Me If I Can’t Hear You?

Writing Class Radio brings you real stories from an actual memoir writing class and ideas about how to write your own stories.

Student Allison Langer loves the process of working out her shit and reading it out loud. In class, she can’t hide behind a facade. Teacher Andrea Askowitz loves thinking about writing and ways to make stories stronger. She breaks down every sentence and takes out needless words. Andrea loves the craft.

Cheryl Strayed, Author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things, says writing is equal parts heart and art. Andrea loves the art. Allison loves the heart. That’s what you get on this podcast. Equal parts heart and art.

This episode is about connecting through writing. It’s also about the job of storytellers to bring us into their world.

New student, Nilsa Rivera, tells a story about her fear of isolation, which stems from a very unique set of circumstances--she’s hard of hearing. She uses writing to fight that fear.

Andrea relates to Nilsa in a very small way and emails her after class, which she immediately regrets doing. In class, students (and teacher) are only allowed to give feedback on the writing, not someone’s life because whether or not a reader or listener has had the exact same experience is irrelevant. What readers relate to is the emotion. When a story is well-told anyone can relate to it.  

You will hear how Nilsa felt about Andrea’s email and more about what it sounds like to be hard of hearing.

If you love this podcast, tell your friends.

This episode is sponsored by the Sanibel Island Writers Conference (fgcu.edu/siwc/). Andrea spoke to director Tom DeMarchi. Twelve years ago he started this conference sort of like a first draft of a story. He just went for it. Twelve years and twelve drafts later, Tom has a kick-ass conference.

The Sanibel Island Writers Conference is November 2 - 5, 2017. Be there!

If you’d like your company mentioned on our podcast, please contact us. If we love your company, other people will too.

We’d like to know more about your world? If you have time, send us your thoughts on twitter @wrtgclassradio. Or on our Facebook page or email us at info@writingclassradio.com

If you want to hear your story on our show, enter our writing contest. Here’s the prompt: Write about something you don’t understand. For example, I don’t understand why nobody understands this world I live in. For contest details visit writingclassradio.com. Deadline is May 31, 2017.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Virginia lora (virginialora.com), Allison Langer (allisonlanger.com) and Andrea Askowitz (andreaaskowitz.com) . Theme music by Daniel Correa (danielcorrea.com) Additional music by Ari Herstand (ariherstand.com).

Writing Class Radio is sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication (com.miami.edu). There’s more writing class on our website. Study the stories we study and listen to our craft talks. If you don’t want to participate in our writing contest but still want a prompt, pick one of our daily prompts from our website or follow us on Twitter (@wrtgclassradio) where we post prompts daily.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Click here to listen. Episode 29: Can You Hear Me If I Can't Hear You?

 

Episode 28: Who Has Time?

Get ready folks, Allison and Andrea are hosting this episode together: an episode about time. Student Allison Langer is obsessed with the lack of time she has lately. So, in class teacher, Andrea Askowitz, gave this prompt: I wish I had more time to_______.

Andrea reads her story from class about wanting more time to work.  Allison reads a story she brought into class about wanting more time PERIOD. You will also hear responses to the prompt, I wish I had more time to _______ from students Diego Saldana-Rojas, Lis Mesa and Viccy Simon.

Allison and Andrea discuss the stories and try to figure out why people without children have no time. Ok, so maybe they have a full time job, but still.

We’d love to know how your life is affected by time? If you have time, send us your thoughts on twitter @wrtgclassradio. Or on our Facebook page or email us at info@writingclassradio.com

If you love this podcast, tell your friends.

If you want to hear your story on our show, enter our writing contest. Here’s the prompt: Write about something you don’t understand. For example, I don’t understand where my time goes. For contest details visit writingclassradio.com.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Diego Saldana Rojas,  Virginia lora, Allison Langer and Andrea Askowitz. Theme music by Daniel Correa. Additional music by Adriel Borshansky, Bluejay and Ari Herstand

Writing Class Radio is sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication. There’s more writing class on our website. Study the stories we study and listen to our craft-talks. If you don’t want to participate in our writing contest but still want a prompt, pick one of our daily prompts from our website or follow us on Twitter where we post prompts daily.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Episode 27: When Is it Okay to Bullshit?

Lies seem to be the new norm in our world. There’s probably a bumper sticker that says Lies Are the New Truth. Great bumper sticker, but it has Andrea Askowitz totally freaked out. Andrea is the teacher of the class and the host for this episode, which is about lies in stories and lies in the world. It starts with a story by a new student, Claudia Franklin, that got us thinking about truth and lies in memoir and when, if ever, is lying fair game.

Claudia’s story takes a surprising turn as she imagines what life would have been like if her father wasn’t the hen-pecked man he really was. Her story left Andrea wondering when, if ever, is trust broken between narrator and listener/reader.

Fifteen years ago, Andrea took her first memoir writing class from Terrie Silverman and has lived by and preached the tenet she learned. Terrie said, “Don’t let the facts get in the way of the truth.”  Andrea took that to mean that it was okay to exaggerate or change little facts for the sake of a bigger emotional truth.

There’s an unspoken pact between a memoir writer and reader or listener that says, what’s being shared is the truth. But what is the truth?

In 2003, James Frey wrote a book called A Million Little Pieces. The book  was distributed as memoir. But Frey stretched the truth in a few places. In one example, he wrote that he spent 87 days in jail. According to police records, he served 5 hours. A lot of people thought he lied, including Oprah.

Andrea wrote a story once about taking her wife, Vicky, to a tantric sex retreat. The story’s about how she couldn’t handle the intimacy and acted like a clown the whole time. They had to do intimacy exercises including Tai Chi, where, in the privacy of their hotel room, they were instructed to stand facing each other, perform pelvic thrusts back and forth, then arm motions with elbows in, and hands out to the sides. Andrea added jazz hands.

Except she didn’t actually add jazz hands in their hotel room. She wished she had. Instead, in the story she wrote, she added jazz hands because she thought jazz hands perfectly expressed her feelings in that moment.

Allison Langer, co-producer and student in the class, challenged her. When Andrea says she tells the truth, Allison says, “What about jazz hands?”

Before this current presidential election, Andrea would have defended jazz hands as an expression of her truth. Now she’s not sure. Because now something has shifted in our culture. Now, we don’t know what we’re getting from America’s highest office. And now with the normalization of lies no one knows what to believe.

The truth stretching in storytelling that used to be okay for Andrea, doesn’t feel as okay anymore. Now, she’s afraid no one’s going to believe her stories.

What Terrie said, “Don’t let the facts get in the way of the truth,” is happening more than ever. Especially outside of the boundaries of storytelling. No one’s letting the facts get in the way of their truth, and that feels dangerous. So, in a panic, Andrea called Terrie Silverman, to ask her if storytellers can be trusted anymore.

Terrie alleviates Andrea’s fears. She says that the rules are different in storytelling and politics. Politics are about manipulation and propaganda. Stories are about getting to a deep truth. Intentions are different. And the number one intention of the memoir writer is to get to his or her truth.

Now Andrea understands why it felt like James Frey broke the pact.  Because we question his intention; He didn’t seem to be going after a bigger truth.

Now Andrea thinks that if anything has changed for storytellers because of the lying culture we’ve been thrust into lately, it’s that now, more than ever, we need jazz hands.

When do you think it’s okay to bullshit? We want to hear from you. Send us your thoughts on Twitter @wrtgclassradio. Or on our Facebook page or email us info@writingclassradio.com

If you live in Los Angeles, take class with Terrie Silverman. Find her online at creativerites.com.

If you want to hear your story on our show, enter our writing contest. Here’s the prompt: Write about something you don’t understand. For more details visit writingclassradio.com.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Diego Saldana Rojas,  Virginia lora, Allison Langer and me, Andrea Askowitz. Theme music by Daniel Correa. Additional music by Josh Woodward and Kevin McLeud.

Writing Class Radio is sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication. There’s more writing class on our website. Study the stories we study and listen to our craft-talks.   If you don’t want to participate in our writing contest but still want a prompt, pick one of our daily prompts from our website or follow us on Twitter where we post prompts daily.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story.  What’s yours?

Episode 26: Writing Is Therapy

Allison Langer is as student in the class and the host on Episode 26 of Writing Class Radio, a podcast for people who love and get inspired by true, personal stories and want to learn a little about how to write their own stories. 

This episode looks at writing as therapy. We look at writing as a way to understand these things we carry: secrets, pain, and shame.

Three new students share their stories. Michelle Massanet tells about a rape that she hid for 22 years and how much lighter she feels since writing about it. Lis Mesa explores getting to the real story she’s been trying to tell all semester and Jennifer Dertouzos finally talks about her brother’s suicide on the last night of class.

Allison came to class to learn the rules of writing and to get better at it but never imagine that writing down all her hidden shit and then sharing it would feel so therapeutic. Listeners will hear questions Allison has been forced to look at in her life. Things like why did she marry a man with addiction problems? Was she trying to save him? Fix him? What does that say about her? She’s also written about the difficult relationship she has with her mom, her ex-boyfriend’s suicide, her pathetic dating life, her children, her wrinkles, and her tits.

Like Allison, many new students eventually write about a trauma they have hidden and carried for way too long. There is an emotional release, and then their writing changes. The shame is lifted. They  seem free and their stories roll out.

Brene Brown is someone who has dedicated her life to researching shame and vulnerability. Her TED talks are something we suggest our first time students to listen to or watch because we want them to open up, have the courage to be vulnerable, to be seen, to be honest. Brown says, “We have to talk about shame. Life is about daring greatly.” We think writing the truth is daring greatly and we know from experience that once you’re vulnerable on the page, you feel better in life.

One of our listeners, Loree Schrager is a therapist who told us she refers our podcast to her clients. Allison spent an hour with Loree, milking her for free therapy and talking about why she recommends our podcast to her patients. She said, “When you write things down it helps you make sense of them, and get some perspective. Think about change. See a little bit clearer.”

Class can feel like therapy although we comment on the writing, not the trauma, which diffuses the emotion.

If you love our show, please tell your friends. The next contest has just begun. Here’s the prompt: Write About Something You Don’t Understand. Deadline is April 30, 2017. More details on our website.

If you’d like to participate in one of our workshops, visit our website. If you don’t want to enter our contest, but want a prompt to get you writing, we post them on our website or follow us on Twitter @wrtgclassradio where we post daily prompts daily.

Writing Class Radio is sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication. Writing Class Radio is produced by Andrea Askowitz, Diego Saldana-Rojas, Virginia Lora and Allison Langer. Theme music by Daniel Correa. Additional music by Ari Herstand, Montplaisier, and Misha Mehrel.

There’s more writing class on our website writingclassradio.com. Study the stories we study and enjoy our craft talks.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story.  What’s yours?

 

Episode 25: A Time I Fucked Up Part 2

We picked two winners of our first annual writing contest. Listeners responded to the prompt: A Time I Fucked Up. We got tons of submissions revealing your major fuck ups and tons revealing your little mess ups. One woman’s vacation slideshow accidentally included a naked selfie. Another woman almost killed a sheep. One did kill a chicken. And here’s what gringa Hope Torrents said to her Spanish mother-in-law on Thanksgiving. “Hoy es el dia del polvo,” which means, “Today is the the day of the fuck.”  

What we know about good storytelling is that it doesn’t matter if the mistake was big or small. The story is not as much about what happened to a person, as what the storyteller makes of that experience.

Susan Buttenweiser is the winner featured on this episode. She teaches writing in New York City public schools, in a women’s prison and in a juvenile facility. In her story about getting into a bar fight, she discovers a persistent character trait--a need to be needed. Sometimes that need puts her in danger. But she re-channels that urge into motherhood.

Diego Saldana-Rojas, our audio producer and student in the class, responded to the prompt with a story about the time he fucked up the audio at Writing Class Radio’s live show. Diego is extremely hard on himself and takes the listener into a dark fantasy about torturing himself for repeated failures. Like Susan, Diego is looking to discover what it is about him, what is that persistent trait, that sets him up for failure.

Thank you for listening to Writing Class Radio. We hope you enjoyed hearing from our listeners. We had so much fun with this contest that we’re holding another one. Deadline is April 30, 2017. More details on our website. Here’s the prompt: Write About Something You Don’t Understand.

If you’d like to participate in one of our workshops, visit our website. If you don’t want to enter our contest, but want a prompt to get you writing, we post them on our website or follow us on Twitter @wrtgclassradio where we post daily prompts daily.

Writing Class Radio is sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication. Writing Class Radio is produced by Andrea Askowitz, Diego Saldana-Rojas, Virginia Lora and Allison Langer. Theme music by Daniel Correa. Additional music by Andy G. Cohen, Julie Maxwell, and Rest You Sleeping Giant. 

This episode is sponsored by Puzzle Israel. If you’re looking for a customized tour of Israel with the coolest, smartest, nicest people, go with Puzzle Israel. Find them at PuzzleIsrael.com.

There’s more writing class on our website writingclassradio.com. Study the stories we study and enjoy our craft talks.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story.  What’s yours?

Episode 21: Inappropriate in all the Right Ways: Live Show with Ann Randolph

Writing Class Radio goes live to the stage. This episode is part live show, part interview with star of our show, the award-winning, solo-performer, Ann Randolph. Allison Langer is our host.

This episode is about the importance of telling stories--not fairy tales, but the real scary, true stories we like to hide. Allison got into writing after the death of her young daughter. Writing about the situation helped her deal with the pain and get back to the job of mothering her other children. Telling that story also helped her let go of the label she cast on herself as that woman who lost a child. Listen to how she learned to get personal with her writing.

Andrea Askowitz tells the story of being rejected by a man when she was 8 months pregnant after being inseminated with donor sperm. When a man offers to give Andrea a massage, she gets excited by the possibility of finally getting laid, even though she’s a lesbian. Andrea describes the massage in very intimate detail. She also shares her shame from the ultimate rejection and how that shame disappeared when she told her story in her very first writing class.

Ann Randolph was a student in that class. Andrea feels forever indebted to Ann for laughing at her pain.

Ann tells the story of how she worked her way up to performing off-Broadway and then lost it all. Ann persists in telling her stories even after being called inappropriate or failing miserably and ending up broke. When Ann goes off mic, Allison asks Ann why she comes out on stage in costume as Shanti Lightgiver and then disrobes. Ann tells us what she goes through each time she walks into a new theater. She talks about the time she bombed and how she recovers from failure. She details her experience with producers Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft and how her dream of being a successful performer almost came true.

Ann then takes the audience through a writing exercise, where several of them step to the mic and tell their own stories.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Andrea Askowitz, Allison Langer, and Diego Saldana-Rojas. Daniel Correa is our theme musician for this episode and the coming semester. We’re sponsored by The University of Miami School of Communication and Sanibel Island Writers Conference, coming Nov. 3-6, 2016. Thank you Miami Light Box and all the volunteers who made the show happen. Thank you to our listeners.

We want your story contest. Here’s the prompt: A time you fucked up. Give us your best 1,200 words or fewer. First and second place winners will be aired on our podcast. Deadline: November 30, 2016. Guidelines at writingclassradio.com.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Episode 23: I Fart, You Fart, We All Fart and Most of Us Deny It

Allison Langer is the host on Episode 23 of Writing Class Radio, a podcast for people who love and get inspired by true, personal stories and want to learn a little about how to write their own stories. Allison is a student in the class. She shares all the reasons why writing class is so much fun. FUN: a theme chosen because life has gotten too busy, too scheduled and way too serious.

In writing class, we laugh. We disconnect from social media and from judgement. We share our most intimate and peculiar “things” and then cry or crack up, whatever the context requires. Instead of judgement, there’s compassion, requests for more details, suggestions to make the second draft better. In writing class, we bond through story and life experiences.

This episode hopes to show the humorous side of writing class; the goofy, first draft silliness that happens when we can write as if nobody is listening.

The students you will hear responded to prompts given in class. Misha Mehrel tells us about the time he and his dad pretended to have accents just for the fun of it. Nicki Post reveals a secret: she squeezes and releases her butt cheeks all day long. Why does she do this? Listen and find out.

Allison reveals her once private and now not so private “things.” But first, Allison invites her dad and everyone who has ever dated her or anyone who plans to date her to tune out.

With just fifteen minutes left in class one evening, Andrea throws out a random word as a prompt. The word: Fart. Everyone let’s it rip: Diego Saldana Rojas, Chaplin Tyler, Nicki, Misha and even Andrea Askowitz, the teacher of the class. You’ll learn about HAFE (high altitude flatus expulsion)...a real thing. And then Andrea and Allison discuss what stories about farts says about someone’s character.

We hope you enjoy sitting in on our writing class. If you’d like to participate in a real writing class, visit our website for options all over the world including our miami workshops offered every other month. If you’d like to participate now, here’s the prompt for this episode: Write about a time when you felt free and happy. Write for 10 minutes, record what you wrote into the voice memo of your phone and send it to us at info@writingclassradio.com. Your response could air on this podcast.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Andy Benoit, Andrea Askowitz and Allison Langer.

Theme music by Daniel Correa. Additional music by Taryn Southern and other royalty-free sound.

Writing Class Radio is sponsored by and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication.

There’s more writing class on our website writingclassradio.com. Follow us on Twitter, @wrtgclassradio.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

Walking in Someone Else's Shoes Feels Impossible Right Now

Andrea Askowitz is the host of Episode 22. She talks about how writing a good story and understanding the results of this presidential election require a mammoth effort in understanding someone else’s point of view, an effort she is failing at right now. She interviews Stephen Elliott, who is the author of seven books and two movies and the founder and senior editor at The Rumpus, about the job of a memoir writer.

Stephen says that in literature, memoir and in life there are no bad guys. “Everybody is part hero and part villain. Most people know that intuitively. But sometimes in our writing we get so angry at somebody that we decide to portray them as strictly a villain. And we forget that somebody loves them. That they’re capable of love. That they do good things. We don’t look for the reasons why they do what they do. We paint them as evil and that’s just never an accurate portrayal of anybody, so it comes off as false because you’re not really exploring that person’s character.”

It is our job, according to Stephen, to strive for honesty, which is not someplace you arrive at, but a constant quest.

To get her students closer to the real truth, Andrea had them write from another person’s point of view or to put themselves in another person’s position. Chaplin tries to understand his dad by writing about a time they worked the same difficult job. Allison Langer also tries to understand her ex-boyfriend Gerald by writing letters in Gerald’s voice.

Andrea and Allison have a conversation about a time recently when Allison stepped into someone else’s shoes. She was teaching a writing class and felt challenged by one of the students. Allison was able, in the moment, to realize that the student probably just needed to be known as someone more than the way she appeared. Andrea on the other hand, has been struggling for months to put herself in her friend, Esther’s shoes. Esther spent the months leading up to the election spewing vitriol against Hillary Clinton, including arguments professing the superiority of male bosses. Andrea knows that to tell an honest story, she has to be able to really understand Esther’s motivations. But she’s not sure she can. Certainly not now.

Yaddyra Peralta, a new student in Writing Class Radio, does the hard work in figuring out why her brother, who hurt her, did what he did.

Writing Class Radio is produced by Andy Benoit, our new sound guy, Diego Saldana-Rojas, Allison Langer, and Andrea Askowitz.

Theme music by Daniel Correa. Additional music by The Mann Sisters and Kevin Myles Wilson.

Writing Class Radio is sponsored and recorded at the University of Miami School of Communication.

This episode is sponsored by The South Beach Jazz Festival, created by David New. Every act at the festival features a performer with a disability. This is a perfect sponsor for this episode because the Jazz Festival’s mission is to help people experience what people with disabilities experience. One event is called Lights Out Miami Beach, Dining in the Dark. On Saturday Dec. 10 at Nexxt on Lincoln Road participants will eat blindfolded while listening to jazz. Tickets available for all events December 7 through 11, 2016 at sobejazz.com.

There’s more writing class on www.writingclassradio.com. Study the stories we study and listen to our craft-talks. If you don’t like the prompt I just gave you, pick one of the daily prompts from our website. Or follow us on Twitter, @wrtgclassradio where we post daily prompts daily.

There’s no better way to understand ourselves and each other, than by writing and sharing our stories. Everyone has a story.  What’s yours?

I fell in love with a girl

By Karen Collazo     

At 35 years old, I finally know what it feels like to fall in love—and, at first sight. I’ve lusted, crushed hard and really liked, but never loved. Then Patty walked through the door of the Women’s Narcotics Anonymous meeting. It was March and unseasonably chilly that evening. It was my first attempt at socializing outside in the real world. I had just been released from a two-week spiritual journey at Orchid, the Women’s-Only Rehabilitation Center in West Palm Beach. It was my first NA meeting and my whole body was buzzing with anxious energy.

Patty casually scanned the dimly lit room, as she quietly slid into the seat across from me. Our eyes locked like two gear arrangements joining in the precise gap that was designed to connect one to the other. In that electric space between us, I witnessed a single gossamer thread glide across the room. It leapt from her chest toward mine and cast a silky web around my heart. She had pulled me in without uttering a single word. I immediately thought: I have to know this girl.

It took three months, before I worked up the courage to allow the thread that connected us to strengthen its hold. We were at a meeting, once again sitting directly across from each other. I turned around to grab an Oreo Cookie, but was struggling. The speaker of the night had started to address the group and I didn’t want to make any noise. After a few minutes I gave up. Then Patty gets up to pour herself some coffee. There was a fresh pot sitting on the table behind me. She pulled two Oreo’s from the pack and on her way back to her seat, delicately placed one on my lap. That night, I friended her on Facebook and sent her a short message: I almost didn’t recognize you by your profile photo. You are most definitely sweeter in person. She replied: Do I look tough? Because I am.

On our first date, she told me her story. How growing up her mother used to beat her in front of her little sister. Her mother had been 19 when she got pregnant with Patty. She wasn’t in love with Patty’s father so didn’t want to go through with the pregnancy, but her grandmother intervened. For the next 17 years, Patty’s mother provided daily reminders that she was unwanted. Eventually, she fell in love with another man and had a daughter that was loved and cared for the way Patty never got to know. One day, Patty’s mother is rummaging through her bedroom when she comes across a love letter from a girl, tucked inside Patty’s jewelry box. Full of rage, her mother drives to Patty’s high school. She finds her sitting with a group of friends outside the main entrance. She storms over, with the love letter in one hand, and begins shouting at Patty. She belittles her daughter in front of her friends, yanks her by the arm and marches right into the office to withdraw Patty out of school. It was two months before graduation.

Patty’s mother had every intention of shipping her off to the army, but instead dropped her off at a shelter after learning that her daughter was too young to join. Abandoned by her family at 17, she found herself navigating without a map. Sadistic sex and heavy drug use were now her means for survival. She bounced around, from woman to woman, lost in a labyrinth of false connections with mother-figures, deceptive lovers and truly fucked up individuals. She fed off their heat, one day at a time. And just like every addict tends to do, she was constantly looking for the next high, before even coming off of the one she was on. I listened intently while the netting around my heart grew tighter.

Over Caramel Macchiatos, I concluded that we were absolutely destined for one another. We both had Sun and Moon tattoos on our right shoulder blade, which as it turns out, we got the same exact year. Back in 2003, she returned to Miami, after living in New York City for two years. That the same year I moved to New York. We were like to ships passing in the night. As the night wore on, I learned that her dog’s name is Cleo and what are the chances… My dog’s name is Chloe! All her best friends were Pisces and I’m most compatible with Scorpios. The morning before we met up, she had seen an Instagram post of the New York Times Best Seller, Luckiest Girl Alive, a novel by Jessica Knoll. That night I had brought it with me to Starbucks – to give to her.

Looking into her dark brown eyes, framed by long soft eyelashes, I was immediately reminded of a line delivered by Tak, in the movie 2046: “That day, six years ago, a rainbow appeared in my heart. It's still there, like a flame burning inside me”. 

But unlike the old-timers who’d climb a mountain, find a tree, carve a hole in it, whisper their secret into the hole and cover it up with mud so that nobody else would ever learn their secret... I didn’t think once about protecting my heart, like I had the tendency to do. I wanted to tell her that very first day, that I loved her.

As a little girl, I was exposed to the prince charming archetype. Once exposed to what “happily ever after” looked like, I developed an unhealthy fervor for stories with knights in shining armors. I read all the romance novels I could get my hands on and devoured every romantic comedy starring Meg Ryan. I spent family vacations in Spain, daydreaming about my future European honeymoon with Mr. Collazo, instead of enjoying the Goya paintings that hung before me at El Museo Del Prado. I envisioned him to be tall, dark and handsome. He’d protect me at any cost and stand vigil by my side as I lay in bed dying from a terminal illness.

And yet, here I was. Consumed by obsessive thoughts of loving someone who did not come close to the image I had held onto for so many years. She was broken and her edges were made of poetry. She had a boyish gait, thin figure and Morrissey hair. I wanted to love every inch of her body with my mouth. I wanted her to know what it was like to be wanted.

I wondered how many beautiful experiences I may have missed because I never considered the possibility. Then again, perhaps there was never meant to be a previous experience of this kind. In that way, my heart would be wholly available to her—like a vacant drawer in a chest, whose purpose is not stripped by the fact that it sits empty for so many years. It just needs to be filled one day.

A week after our first date, Patty shared where she was at in her recovery, with the twenty women sitting around the small wood-paneled lounge reserved for our weekly NA meetings. She spoke about recently coming to the conclusion that relationships were not a good idea. In the past, she explained, she’d jump from one to the other, not allowing any time to heal and letting these new partnerships consume her, body and soul. And when the union reached its inevitable expiration date, the unavoidable downward spiral that followed always led her back to her drug of choice. To a room of sympathetic women, and one rejected girl, she confessed that after a recent first date, she had almost given in to this predictable pattern.

I sat silent staring at my toes. I had painted them red in anticipation of our date and the bright blue sandals I was now wearing, strapped across my pale skin, created a very patriotic combination, which I found funny. My efforts to block the words were absolutely fruitless, though. This speech was meant for me and accepting it, the knot that tied our hearts together began to come undone.

Perhaps I had been too aggressive when we sat in my car listening to “Obstacle 1” by Interpol, and I grabbed her beautiful face for a deep impassioned kiss? “She puts the weight into my little heart,” the singer croons. In that moment, she hadn’t hesitated with her mouth, but her heart must have deflated under my grip. I confessed to her that I had not been in a serious relationship in thirteen years and that I only slept around to feed a primordial need, because I thought love was momentary. In hindsight, I should have added that I thought she was different. But, I buried that secret into a hole and covered it with mud.

Before she could even finish sharing, my little blue sandals walked out of that lonely room and led me to my car. I looked back, hoping to catch her standing right behind me, but she wasn’t there. No matter, I decided, I’m going to do what I know is best: love that girl.