so, now that we’re live, i’ve sent emails to all my friends, clients and acquaintances asking them to listen to our podcast. with each click, I asked myself, “will they feel sorry for me? will people care? will they want to listen to more?” i’ve said things about my mom that were not meant for her ears. they were meant for my class…for me, really, so i could understand how two people who love each other so much can infuriate each other so easily. i’ve made comments about motherhood. how draining and unfulfilling it can be. how most days i just want to run off and play tennis, windsurf, read, work! will people think i’m a shitty mom?
…so my mom is going to hear me say things like camel toe, braless, angry and they all refer to her. will she stop speaking to me? will the people we write about abandon us? i guess i’ll find out.
andrea, my co-producer and writing teacher, says that the job of a writer is to write without concern for what other people think. “write first and apologize later.”
so far, i have gotten some really positive feedback. my friend wendi said, “write a book. i think you are powerful and unique and many people could benefit from learning about you and your journey.” my friend michael said, “i’ve always admired you – smart, strong, fearless.” maybe my friends who wonder why i air my grief to the world are not commenting. to those people, I would say, (and I stole this from brene brown) “because the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live.”